Random Rants

Twelve rules for living with a writer

English: A GAUNGTO BACHELOR "I have no wi...
I wonder how this fella would fare under my tyranical rule. | English: A GAUNGTO BACHELOR “I have no wife to bother my life.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Writers are notorious for being difficult to live with. Anyway, that’s the word on the writing block. I suppose I’m no exception. While I can’t presume to speak for all of us, I do have my very own list of neurotic rules that must be followed by anyone who might choose to live in this writer’s home.

  • Thou shalt not smoke in my presence. Or in my house. Or outside any open window of my house. Or inside my vehicle. Or anywhere near my asthmatic child. If you are a smoker, it’s probably best if you do not attempt to live with me at all. In fact, let’s not even be friends, okay? Because I am done sacrificing myself to other people’s vices.
  • Thou shalt… okay, this isn’t the Bible… Just… do not use kitchen table and countertop towels on the floor. Kitchen sink sponges should also never touch the floor. Once an “up-top” towel or sponge touches the floor, it becomes a floor towel or sponge. There is no going back. Likewise, do not use floor towels on my kitchen table or countertops. Furthermore, NEVER use a kitchen towel in the bathroom or vice versa. There shall be no cross-contamination of towels in my house!

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