Essays, Illinois

Don’t tell me how to feel about the weather

I deeply resent being told how to feel about the weather. The weather man tries to tell me how lovely it will be with the sun shining all day, but all I want is fog and rain. The earth is so dry, and so are my patio planters.

I borrowed this photo from Google images to use as my desktop because this is what beautiful weather looks like to me. But now, I can’t remember where I got it, and I’d really like to credit the photographer. I’m quite certain I got it on a royalty free site (because I always go royalty free.) Anyway, before I write a photo caption that’s longer than my blog post, I just want to say that if this photo belongs to you, please get in touch with me so I can link to your website!

Ninety+ degrees. I’ll complain about the heat if I like. Don’t tell me I can’t just because it will be cold soon. I’ll take twenties over nineties any day. I’m chunky, okay? Hot weather isn’t fun when your body parts stick together, and you no longer wear shorts because you’re just not comfortable showing quite that much skin. Continue reading “Don’t tell me how to feel about the weather”

Random Rants

Twelve rules for living with a writer

English: A GAUNGTO BACHELOR "I have no wi...
I wonder how this fella would fare under my tyranical rule. | English: A GAUNGTO BACHELOR “I have no wife to bother my life.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Writers are notorious for being difficult to live with. Anyway, that’s the word on the writing block. I suppose I’m no exception. While I can’t presume to speak for all of us, I do have my very own list of neurotic rules that must be followed by anyone who might choose to live in this writer’s home.

  • Thou shalt not smoke in my presence. Or in my house. Or outside any open window of my house. Or inside my vehicle. Or anywhere near my asthmatic child. If you are a smoker, it’s probably best if you do not attempt to live with me at all. In fact, let’s not even be friends, okay? Because I am done sacrificing myself to other people’s vices.
  • Thou shalt… okay, this isn’t the Bible… Just… do not use kitchen table and countertop towels on the floor. Kitchen sink sponges should also never touch the floor. Once an “up-top” towel or sponge touches the floor, it becomes a floor towel or sponge. There is no going back. Likewise, do not use floor towels on my kitchen table or countertops. Furthermore, NEVER use a kitchen towel in the bathroom or vice versa. There shall be no cross-contamination of towels in my house!

Continue reading “Twelve rules for living with a writer”