Domestic Violence, Essays, Memoir

Single, Never Married

I’m a dedicated Swagbucks addict, which means I participate in online surveys on practically a daily basis. As most surveys do, these usually collect your typical demographic data, such as sex, race, gross annual income, and marital status. These should be relatively easy questions to answer, but I’ve often hesitated when I came upon the marital status question. I know what the technical answer is, but I have strong feelings regarding what I feel is my “real” answer.

The marital status question typically gives the survey respondent the options of married, divorced, something regarding living with someone you’re not married to, and single/never married. Technically, I was legally married at one time, and I was then legally divorced after about ten years of said legal marriage. However, when I look back upon that marriage, I don’t feel as though I was ever actually “married.” Continue reading “Single, Never Married”

Book Reviews

Book Review: Spinster by Kate Bolick

Spinster by Kate BolickIn this fascinating memoir, Kate Bolick turns the history of women and marriage in America as I learned it completely on its head. According to Bolick, much of what has been spouted as truth by the  mainstream these past few decades  turns out to be false. Not just false, but one bald-faced lie after another.

This text so resonated with me, I could not put it down. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about a book, and I have to wonder what has changed in me since my early 20s that I now find it so hard to relate to the characters in the books I read the way I used to. Why is no one writing about strong women whose lives do not revolve around “the question of when to marry and who?” Continue reading “Book Review: Spinster by Kate Bolick”

Domestic Violence, Relationships

You gotta know when to walk away… and when to run

A pregnant woman
What do you do if your man thinks you're repulsive when you're pregnant? | A pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday, I was listening to the Connie and Curtis morning show on my drive to school. It was Saturday, so of course the show was a replay… in other words, there was no way for me to call in and comment on the topic they were discussing. And of course, it was one of those topics I wanted so much to comment on. As usual, I decided to turn my response into a blog post instead.

Anyway, Connie and Curtis were discussing the plight of a woman whose husband had told her he didn’t want to have any more kids with her because she’s not attractive when she’s pregnant. And apparently, according to him, all of his friends thought she was repulsive as well. He sounds like a winner, right?

Let me just start by saying that my own EX-husband (emphasis on the EX) used to make similar remarks about me on a regular basis. So of course, my gut reaction was that she should leave him. This poor woman’s husband is showing his true colors. This is who he is. Either she accepts him as he is, or she doesn’t truly love him. As far as I can tell, she has two choices: love him as he is, or leave him in the past where he belongs.  Continue reading “You gotta know when to walk away… and when to run”