Writing Prompts

Wednesday Writing Prompt: If money were no object

For this week’s Wednesday writing prompt, I came up with one of my own. Here’s your writing prompt for the week:

If money were no object…

And my shot at it:

If money were no object, I would buy a big old Victorian house with a wraparound porch and a wooden deck off the back overlooking the woods. Maybe there would be a lazy stream ambling through the woods, with all manner of wildlife to watch from the deck.

I would only need a bedroom, a sitting room, and a bathroom for myself (for some reason, I am imagining this happening after my kids have grown up and moved on) and my cat. We would live at the top of the house, and I would turn the downstairs into a sleepy little bookshop/café. Money would be no object, so I would be happy for it to not be a busy business. In fact, if it were too busy, that would defeat the purpose of my master plan.

In the morning, I would get up and cook whatever baked concoction I was in the mood for at that day. (As I write this, I have a blackberry lemon loaf in the oven. I hate to cook but love to bake!) I wouldn’t need to make much since my shop isn’t that busy. Who wants to spend that much time in the kitchen anyway?

Blackberry Lemon Loaf
I can’t make just one loaf when I own two loaf pans. Where’s the sense in that?

I’d get the espresso bar cranked up and ready to go for my morning rush and then chat with my neighbors as they stop in to get their morning cups on their way to work. On the weekends, my good friends and neighbors would get their cups and stay, lounging around in the giant stuffed couches and arm chairs that are scattered about the place. Continue reading “Wednesday Writing Prompt: If money were no object”

Editing, Publishing

If my cat had thumbs

picture of sleeping cats
These lazy bums think they’re ready to write a novel. Is it wrong that I was tempted to draw chalk outlines around them as they slept?

Have you ever wondered how difficult it might be to self-publish your novel? Let me tell you, it’s pretty easy. If my cat had thumbs, she could throw a sheath of paper on the floor, slather the pages with her paws prints, and call it a first draft. She could scan those sheets of paper into a digital file and organize them into the order of her preference, thus completing draft number two.

Do you hear something? I do believe that is the sound of cat lovers everywhere breathing a collective sigh of excitement over the announcement of Zelda Cat’s latest novel. Wait. Zelda would never truck with such nonsense. We’ll get Lulu to do it.

If my cat had thumbs, she might then upload her masterpiece to a website like Create Space, list it on Amazon, and call it published. Luckily, my cat doesn’t need thumbs to curl up on the windowsill and wait for her money to start pouring it in. Continue reading “If my cat had thumbs”

Pets

Can you really potty train a cat?

A picture of my cat, Zelda
Meet Zelda: She likes to hang out in my office while I work.

A few weeks ago, I finally got my 6-year-old the baby kitty he’s wanted so badly for so, so long. She’s a sweet little calico named Zelda, and she has yet to have a single accident outside of her litter box. Seriously, not even one. She’s awesome! But the whole litter box thing is still kinda grossing me out.

This is the first time I’ve ever had an indoor cat, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I started with a small litter box and soon found my bathroom floor covered in cat litter because Zelda kept kicking it out of the box. So then we moved to a bigger litter box with somewhat of a cover on it. But she still somehow manages to kick the cat litter out all over the place. Plus the smaller litter box fit neatly right next to our toilet, but the big litter box fits neatly… well… NOWHERE.  Continue reading “Can you really potty train a cat?”