Wednesday, September 17, 2014; 12:07 p.m.
NOTE: This post may or may not have been written by a guest blogger.
Stuff and Nonsense
Wow, so today I get to sit in the gazebo on the quad because for once no one else is sitting in it. I no sooner sit down than a young couple walks up, enters, and proceeds to read the graffitti aloud to each other. No, don’t be quiet or anything when someone else is obviously sitting here enjoying the peace and silence.
This guy claims he wrote half the graffitti on the inside of the gazebo. Can they be more annoying? Oh, now they are looking for something to write with so they can add to the graffitti. Oh, she thinks she might have a lipstick. Maybe not. It must be in the car. I’m surprised they didn’t ask to borrow my pen.
Oh good, they left.
OK, I am here to write. Hear to right. Maybe I should write that on the gazebo wall. Can I get in trouble for that? Is anyone watching me? Watch me get fired for writing on the graffitti-encrusted gazebo. Is that how you spell graffitti?
I just wrote it on the bench under my leg. Not really, because that would be illegal probably. But for the sake of the story…
I wish I had a tablet (with a keyboard. Maybe I wish I had a decent laptop.) so I could type all of this up quick and turn it into a long, rambling blog post that no one will read beyond the first paragraph. Maybe that’s what my blog needs is some real-time action instead of blog posts that I typed up in the last five minutes of my lunch break and then left sitting in my e-mail for three weeks before I got around to posting them.
Someone graffitiied (OK, now I know that’s not how you spell that. Seriously, why does WordPress no longer spell check my posts?!) a hashtag. #FreeIan. I wonder who Ian is. Maybe I should turn mine into a hashtag too. #Heartoright. Heart o’ right? Hmmm. Go forth and graffitti that on every available surface. (Unless you’re at work. Then don’t get fired.) Go ahead. Confuse everyone. I dare you.
Someone has been posting #positivemessage post-its on the elevator of my building. I’ll put mine on post-its too and start a movement with no meaning so I can be just like everyone else. (Not that #FreeIan has no meaning. I don’t even know Ian. Wait, I used to know an Ian. What if it’s the same one? Please #FreeIan.)
But wait. First, I’ll need you to make a video of me creating my artwork so I can post evidence of my vandalism on YouTube for the whole world to see.
I love this century.
Of course, couples must write their names in the gazebo. Under “Audrey and Larry,” someone added the words, “do it here.” Do you think drunk college students have sex in the gazebo late at night? I bet they do. Ew. And I am sitting here in someone else’s bodily fluids trying to write something intelligent. Yesterday, I saw a guy eating his lunch in here. Ew.
Alright, I lied about trying to write something intelligent. But the rest is true. Sorta. At this point, I’m just trying to write something at all.
An older guy, perhaps a professor, has joined me in the gazebo. He appears to be grading papers. Or pretending to grade papers. At least he is quiet. I say, “older guy,” but he’s probably my age. I bet I have more gray hair than he does. It’s hard to judge how old other people might be when you still picture yourself ten years younger than you actually are.
I wonder how I appear to him? Is he thinking, “I’ll just join this older lady over here. She appears like she’ll be quiet and not bother me.” Or maybe I appear to him as a young creative-type, a driven young woman, who is thoughtfully penning what could turn out to be the next Great American Novel.
Hahaha. If only she could spell.
P.S. This might confuse you. Sorry if you read the newer post first. We’re experimenting.
P.P.S. Yes, Zemanta. Please tag this post with the words, “Fainting Goat.” Because that makes a world of sense. But at least you offered me the chance to link to something with those same words so I can go see what it’s all about when I’m done here. Hurray for efficient internet usage.
P.P.P.S. Also, did you happen to notice that the owner of this blog used to wear a mullet? Maybe it’s time to consider updating her profile picture.
Thanks for joining us.