For this week’s Poetry Friday, hosted by Writing the World for Kids, I am sharing another original poem. This is a rough draft I think could use some revisions, so I would love to hear any feedback you might have on how to make it better. I am especially having some problems with the rhythm in a couple of these lines. Please post your feedback in the comments below.
Church on Time
Red painted church marm in a
white Grand Prix
squeals around the corner and
glares at me.
Don’t you dare step out there in
front of me,
says the glaring red face from the
white Grand Prix.
Got to get to church on time,
young lady.
Got no time to slow down for a
God-less freak.
~By Amanda L. Webster
Related articles
- It Was a Thursday Evening When Five Plus Seven Equaled Nine, Someone’s Woman Was Cruel, and the Weeble Wobbled But Didn’t Fall Down (thoughtsfromafailedagnostic.wordpress.com)
- Poetry Evening, The Shrewsbury Coffeehouse, Shrewsbury (garylongden.wordpress.com)
- Anatomy of a Poem – Michael Hartnett and Harry Clifton part 1 (peterkiernan.wordpress.com)
- Finding a different Perspective (insideministry.wordpress.com)
- Click a Blessing Today – Do you go to church to worship or pretend? (ptl2010.com)
- Poetry and Prayer (meggella.com)
Advertisements
Ha! Enjoyed this biting poem…
Cute poem Amanda…hope your writing is ‘treating’ you right…
Best wishes,