Are all writers slobs, or is it just me?
Most of my regular clothes come from other people’s giveaway bags. They look very much like this. | Clothes for poor people (Photo credit: Maarten Utreg)
I can’t get dressed until after I’ve eaten. On mornings when I have to actually get dressed to go to work, I get up, shower, and put on fresh pajamas. I eat breakfast and have my coffee. I put my work clothes on about five minutes before I actually leave the house, so there’s no danger of spilling anything on myself.
When I buy clothes, I don’t buy clothes just to wear around the house. I can only justify the expense of new clothes when I’m buying them for work. My work clothes hang on one side of the closet. When a shirt gets too ratty for me to wear to work, I shift it to the other side of the closet into my regular wear wardrobe. I don’t eat while wearing my work clothes, ever. (more…)
Do you spell-check your Facebook posts?
I know I’ve brought this up before, but I really wish people would spell-check their Facebook posts. I don’t know about you, but rotten spelling on Facebook has caused me to hide more than a few ignorant Facebook friends from my News Feed. Okay, so maybe you know that red squiggly line under half your words means you’ve misspelled them, and you’re just in too big a hurry to fix it at the moment. But do you realize what your momentary laziness says about you to your 437 “friends?”
Really, friend? Is that really how you think you spell “despise?”
Remember the phone book?
At least the phone book was right more often than not. | a phone / telephone book / directory Polski: książka telefoniczna (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Do you remember when we used to have to rely on the phone book to look up a phone number? Remember how much fun it was to play, “Guess what my friend, Jenny Johnson’s dad’s name is” to try to find the number that belonged to the correct Johnson in the book? I used to think it was a huge pain that the only person whose name showed up in the directory was the person who paid the bill, or at least the person who set up the phone account in the first place.
When I was a kid, I thought it totally sucked having to call down the list of Johnsons and bother a bunch of strangers until I figured out which number was Jenny’s (just kidding, I don’t really know anyone named Jenny Johnson.) But these days, I find myself longing for the days when you knew the phone number listed in the book belonged to the person who was paying the bill at that home the last time the phone book was updated. (more…)
My tips for winning the Mega Millions jackpot (hint: I don’t have any)
Mega Millions tickets (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
With the Mega Millions lottery jackpot at half a billion dollars, everyone is talking about how best to win. So, I thought I’d write my own little list of tips. However, unlike every other blog post or news article you may have read on the subject, I will not be giving you tips on how to win (per se.)
I hate to break it to you sunshine, but all those tips you’ve been reading in the news are B.S. The lotto is, by nature, a crap shoot. The lottery is not designed for you to win. It is designed to generate revenue for the government.
#bettingonthegovernmentisalosinggame
The lottery is a game. Like any game, there is a good, clean, fun way to play. There is also a horrible, bad, spend yourself into the poorhouse way to play. (Don’t play that second way.) In case you don’t know the difference, here are my top 5 tips for playing the lotto. (more…)
Purple is for Independence
Here's my purple independence quilt, specially made for me by my mommy.
I never used to like purple. It was always way too girly for me.
When my older son was little, he insisted (much to his father’s chagrin) that his favorite color was purple. My son was about 3 years old when we bought our house. We asked him what color he wanted to paint his room, and he said, “Purple.” His dad threw a fit.
We asked this question again and again, and always the answer remained the same. We eventually painted the poor kid’s bedroom Buzz Lightyear Blue. He was happy enough with the new color, but once in a while, he would confess to me that he really wished it was purple.
Although my son eventually outgrew his purple fetish, the color had begun to grow on me. The fact that my brave little boy could stand up to his dad and keep asking for purple knowing that it would only get him in trouble was a symbol of hope for me. My son had a voice of his own, and he was not afraid to use it. (more…)
A house divided
Image via Wikipedia
At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist…
Do you ever wonder if the Democratic and Republican leaders are secretly working together to divide the country so they can push through some hidden agenda behind our backs while we’re all too busy arguing with each other to notice what’s going on? (more…)
Maybe I just take too many pictures to begin with
Image via Wikipedia
Several years ago, when I got my first digital camera, it never occurred to me that the ability to take an unlimited number of pictures would one day become a problem. I’ve always been a big picture-taker, but film was expensive, and I used to always try to save my film for the most important moments. But when the day came that I no longer had to worry about the price of film, every moment became a camera-worthy moment.
Then came a new problem: the cost of developing unlimited photos. It wasn’t long before I had upwards of $50 worth of photos in my Snapfish shopping cart, just sitting there waiting for me to order prints. But I was broke, so I began to search for other ways to save those priceless images. (more…)
9:30 a.m. is a magical time of day for me
Image via Wikipedia
No matter how hard I try, I can’t possibly be productive before 9:30 a.m.
It never fails, every morning I find myself looking at the clock at 9:30 a.m. and realizing that I am, once again, just now getting down to business.
I don’t think it’s just because I get to work from home most days and can take my time showering, getting a cup of coffee, throwing a load of laundry in the wash, and just generally screwing around until I feel like accomplishing something. When I had a full-time day job where I had to actually be someplace at a certain time, I was still incapable of accomplishing anything before 9:30 a.m. (more…)
Valentine’s Day tips
Image via Wikipedia
Dear men,
It really is the thought that counts. As long as you show her that you think she’s worth thinking of, no matter what you do, it will be plenty.
Unless, of course, you’re one of those men (more…)
Lying is futile
Image via Wikipedia
I don’t get liars, never have. What’s the point? The truth always comes out in the end, no matter how hard you try to cover it up. Truth is afraid of the dark. It doesn’t like to be hidden under a brown paper bag, and it always finds a way to escape.
Back when I was in basic training in the Air Force, our TI’s (short for training instructor, that’s what we called them in the Air Force, as opposed to a drill sergeant in the Army) put us through long, excruciating exercises in paying attention and following instructions. One day, we spent several hours putting our laundry marks in every item of military clothing we’d been issued. (more…)
Just say no to holiday madness
Image via Wikipedia
It’s that time of year. Once again, Tom Turkey is eclipsed by that one word that seems to be on the lips of everyone I know: Christmas. If you read any current online or print media at all, I’m sure you’ve already noticed the usual holiday how-to headlines this year: “How to keep from gaining weight over the holidays,” “How to avoid stressing out this holiday season.” But if you ask me, the answer to these questions boils down to one, simple, little, teeny-tiny, two-letter word: NO.
First of all, if you really want to avoid the holiday madness, your first assignment is to just say no to the Black Friday-starting-at-midnight craze. This is one of the worst ideas that have ever ripped through retail. I always thought Black Friday (the other two words on everyone’s lips) was stupid anyway, but the past few years, this trend has gotten completely out of hand.
How would you feel if you had to sleep through most of your Thanksgiving Day because you have to be at work by midnight that night to work a 12-hour shift? Would this stress you out? I don’t know about you, but I would be thoroughly pissed.
In case you haven’t already figured this out, Black Friday is manned by an army of thoroughly stressed and pissed off, not to mention underpaid, workers who probably couldn’t afford to take advantage of the so-good-I’d-totally-step-on-your-head-if-you-fell-down-in-front-of-me deals their employers are offering even if they did have the day off. (more…)
